Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Xmas Day !!!

A night of beautiful Xmas tree ...



I am so busy during the Xmas eve, the Xmas Day and the Boxing Day, that I do not have time to blog during the Xmas ...

Anyway, very busy during Xmas eve ... Thou protecting the people of Orchards ... For those who have gone to Orchard, you will know what I mean. Messy, chaotic and Hell loose ... (To me, many cases) I am thinking, I will be joining all those people in the counting down of Xmas if I am not working. Spraying different foams... [And to my disgust, my uniform ganna all those foams, Shoot!!! (Those foams are very smelly and hard to eradicate)] ... Anyway, it is still a blessing that I can be standing there "counting down" together for the Xmas !!!

To many people, I have always explained that I celebrate every festivals and any festivals, if I can possible. Though of course, many will not be up to the religious extent. Festivals are meant to be celebrated, and to learn certain principles that can be derived from the festivals.

I am glad that many people celebrate Xmas though in different forms and extents from one another. But many other important festivals are being ignored sadly nowadays.

Celebration does not mean just letting our hair down, but also to savour the atmosphere, eating certain goodies that can only be found commonly in the festivals.

With this, I will like to wish all of the readers, a very late Merry Xmas !!! and a Happy New Year !!!

[This is a short entry unlike the predecessor ... And Pardon me for this late entry for Xmas !!!]

[And, also about the revival of NKF furore due to the updated audits of the company, I have nothing else to say, for I have stated my piece of mind, long time ago. All the shock, disppointment and anger are very expected. This will be a classic example, as to how a company that serves the public (Including the government companies) should be as transparent as possible ...]

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Rich Dad, Poor Dad ... And the Winter Solstice Festival

I have just started reading a wonderful book ...

Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T.Kiyosaki and Sharon l.Lechter

Though I have only read a few chapters, this book had given me tremendous insights. The stuffs on making money, and the important mindset when finding a job and livelihood.

I will further comment on this after I have read finish the book.

:).
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(Added-on on Fri, 23/12/2005, 1532 hrs)






Anyway, yesterday, Winter Solstice festival or Dong Zhi Festival. Got to eat Glutinous Riceball or Dang Yuan ...
This festival is to celebrate the starting of the Winter. There is actually a history and significances of this festival.

One is as to the start of winter signifies the ending of the crops, and that it is extremely important in ensuring there is always storages of food for the winter or "rainy days". Another significance is that winter signifies the end of the year, and this actually herald the start of the new year, and that everyone will have grown one year older, supposedly being more mature.

Above is the modern context of the festival, for those who have celebrated. However, there is a further significance in this festival ...

Many people think that Dong Zhi means the "arrival of winter". In fact, what Dong Zhi means is that after this day the sunshine will decline. In the northern hemisphere, the day is the shortest during Dong Zhi. In the southern hemisphere, it is the reverse. (Read on the Geographical location and Earth revolution to see this fact)

During the New Year, everybody would make visits. In olden times, during Dong Zhi, the people do make visits too (Unlike today). Some people would offer incense at dawn and some businesses would take a break on that day. People would feast on delicacies and the atmosphere would be like the Chinese New Year. In China, because the onset of the winter was cold and medical science was not that advanced in the past, many people froze to death during this period. As a result, on this day people would gather together to eat Tang Yuan (Gultinous Flour balls or Rice balls). Yuan means round and is associated with Tuan which means reunion and Yuan (Other than round, it also means complete). Eating Tang Yuan is therefore symbolic of family unity and harmony.

In the past, Dong Zhi is treated as a big event as the Lunar New Year.

The history of this festival including the food for Dong Zhi is less well-known compare to its significance. The history is actually of discrimination, for both of job and sex.

The source of the story and the history comes from a book I have researched on, the Origins of Chinese Festivals.

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In a dynasty of the past,during the start of the winter which symbolises the beginning of the end of the year, the emperor decides to confer titles on every sectors in the palace that have made contributions. All the sectors from Artisans to Carpenters are been bestowed with titles except for the cookery section. The cookery section is headed by two females. The females take this issue up to the emperor, and the artisans and the carpenters commented that if a cook is made a master, then the title of the master will not be worth much. The female cooks are enraged, and they decide not to cook for the day.

After a hard day, all the carpenters and the artisans come back from work, feeling famished. Yet, they realise there are no foods on the table. Obviously, all the blacksmiths and the others are only experts in their own field, and they are powerless in front of the baskets of raw grains and vegetables. The others report to the emperor.

In the face of emperor, do they agree that cooking is a specialised skills and that it is equally important in contribution. Therefore, the emperor confer both titles on the two female cooks.

As there is not much time to cook big food, the female cooks decide to make glutinous rice flour balls, won ton, dumplings and red bean porridge for everyone.

And since then, these foods have become staples of the people in the south during Dong Zhi.

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(Other than the festival of Dong Zhi, there is also the festivals of Yuan Xiao, that people eat Glutinous Rice Flour Balls. I will touch on that in the future and on the 15th days of the Chinese New Year, since that is the day of Yuan Xiao.)

Anyway, from this story, and base on pragmatic views, you can see a certain discrimination exists long long ago, starting from the past. Unfortunately, to this day, some discrimination still occurs. Discrimination of sexes, jobs and even races and religions. Alas, like the above episode, if people finally acknowledge each other, then there will be mutual balance and understanding and that everything will be at peace ...

I do want to dwell further into the obseravation of the dwindling number of people in celebrating festivals. All these festivals including Chinese New Year is not religious by nature, thus even the increasing Christianity does not mean that the Christians Chinese especially, cannot celebrate these festivals. This simply shows how lazy people can become and that money distracts everything that is rather important like family and unity. Even Buddists and Taoists majority do not care about this events at all. So, it seems rather it is the attitude that cause the demise of festivals rather than races and religions. Anyway, it should be the parents who have the responsibility to uphold all the positive traditions and festivals. But nowaday, even many parents especially the working class who do not take the heck out of any festivals. I can only shake my head. I can only cringe when I hear people saying all these festivals are not that important.

Anyway, I will be thinking about all these, and offering suggestions in my next entry ...

Happy Dong Zhi Festival !!!

Updates (and on my driving ...)

Well, I have used the chance to review my former entries of the blog. As usual, many is still fraught with small bits of error here and there. At least, the level and intensity of small errors have mitigated. Henceforth, I am overall still pleased with the content of my entries.

Yet, there is a need for pictures and audio for my blog. These are the things, that I feel, must be added to "colour" and "beautify" my blog. For now, I do not have any digital camera capability, thus, it is rather hard to obtain pictures from my reality. I will have to get the pictures from the internet ... For the audio part, I am still exploring the ways and possibilities ...

Anyway, my blog is rather SIMPLE compare to my other friends. Simple yet long, a nice euphemism of "rural and wordy". Haha ... Anyway, I do focus on the words to express my feelings because of certain technical and technological restraints. But, I believe all these will change for the better eventually and gradually. Reading my blog is tantamount to an essay. Some comments, but I do agree. A wordy yet flawed with grammar and sentence construction mistakes essay ... Hahaha ... Anyway, all these will be records for my future exploits. For when I grow up, I do not know how much I will have changed, and this blog will be a personal history for myself ...
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Anyway, I have passed the basic theory driving test smoothly (YESTERDAY). [Late at night, the last session of 2000 hrs as I booked the test rather late 3 days ago ]

[Yipee ... Hooray ... haha ........ Hah ...]

Now the next step is the final one, for which I will start looking for the private instructors (I choose private instead of school routes as I am not so rich). Then PDL (Provisional Driving License) to go on road ...

Anyway, during the test, I do notice there are many different people from all walks of life taking the same test as me. From the youngest like me to the oldest of 50. And many different races and working class ... Hahaha ...

The test has become very high-tech, making use of computers and touch-screen. Because of the advance in technology, I can get my results instantaneously and print out immediately. This is the wonder of technology.

Anyway, it is the 2nd Big step of the Small step I have gone through ... Just keep Swimming and just keep swimming ...

May the force be with me ......

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Yeepee ... My Big step since NS ...

If National Service is the first big step for me to venture into the "World", then registration of driving license must be the second Big step.

Finally, after months and months of deliberation, and consideration, do I see myself walking into the Bukit Gombak Driving Centre (Yesterday). I have always whince for the fact that if I were to get into NPCO course, I will have saved plenty of money. (Driving license is a very expensive one) [For details, view my May entries of my NS life]

Anyway, though I lost that wonderful chance, I have gained something in my present stage. I have gained much more time, and time is very very precious. I can use it to do many many things. For instance, I can find time to do with the time consuming driving courses ...

Anyway, I have booked for the basic theory test 3 days later ... Good luck to me ...

Hahaha ...

Anyway, do plenty of house labour as usual. Vaccuming, mopping, doing laundry, cleaning different places including the fan cover ...

But the most wonderful thing I have done is actually finding a fast and effective way in peeling garlics and onions. I have also blend the radish ...

Today, I have managed to prepare for food. Cooking ....

Hahah ... guess whether they taste nice ...

Also, thou planning for the places and celebration of the coming Xmas Party ...

Monday, December 05, 2005

NS, Should we love it or should we loath it?

What is NS? National Service ...

So, every young men around the age of 18 and above will come to terms with this, and have to adhere to this. Young men are drafted to different units, most of them army and others to Police and Civil Defence.

This issue is blown up due to the recent furore over the "punishment" of the pianst who has eluded, serving the nation 28 years ago illegally. (Take note that I will not be mentioning names ...)

Today, that guy has become a renounced pianst and musician. And he has come back to Singapore, and is only slapped with a 5000 dollars fine.

There are 2 sides, one of which belittle the action and seek to condemn the action. Some shout unfairness, as 5000 bucks seem to be to little and of no significance to the famous and affluent artist. Most of these people are NS people.

The other side, many of which come from the journalists, claim that there are certain things that the pianst has endured and 5000 bucks is indeed enough for a punishment. The pianst has faced the music of his own "punishment", by giving up his special priviledges and not meetinh his parents who are currently in Singapore. Some said that the system is the one that should be blamed and not the pianst himself and the others bemoan losing a foreign talent now just because of the big hoo-ha (That pianst states that he will cancel his performance and delete his judge status in a music competition) over his past.

No matter what both sides think of him, I still think that what he did is still wrong. This verdict might seem to be bias as I am an NS men myself. For that, passing this judgement seems plausible to me.

There is a reporter who claim that there are many others but yet there is no big hoo-ha. But too bad for this guy, he is famous and is really a "talent" and thus, his action is equally exposed too. For the others, they are lucky that they are quite obscured in terms of their name and yet, I will equally blame them for their cowardice to face the national service.

Even if a person has done wrong, and he become rich, powerful and talented years later, but he is still wrong by law.

First, such a light punishment will give the wrong signal. I am not wrong in saying that most of the people do not love NS at all. It takes away our time and disrupt our study. But still, we will have to continue to serve the nation. To repay the country and also to contribute to the defense of our country, no matter millitary, civil or security.

Many people are rich enough nowadays, and they can easily find ways to wriggle out of this system. But yet, many people continue to serve the nation. Some out of fear of law, but some, out of respect, responisibility and gratitude to the country. Yes, that pianst, 28 years ago will have to forsake his chance for another 2.5 years, but I believed if he is that talented and rich, he can continue to pursue his passion and that the institute can still accept him. No, but he uses the excuse that for fear of rejection and it is a golden opportunity, that he has to make the choice of a person who run away from contribution to the nation. This will make him look like a yellow coward and a deserter and also, a very irresponsible fellow.

Some reporter claim that he does not enjoy rights in Singapore enough and thus the punishment is quite "alright". Hey, in law, do we need to look into the details of the person who has not enjoy enough rights itself to pass out punishment. And does not enjoying that rights, make him a non-Singaporean 28 years ago.

Yes, he come back to face the music now, and he is relieved. Good for him, but I think he know that he can get away lightly because he has something now that make him different from us if we were to do that. He holds status and his so called talents ... If we were to follow him, and we are to be nobody, I think the punishments will have been a little bit harsher like jail terms.

Anyway, I do not feel that sad that we have lost a "Singaporean talent". What is the use of a talent ... A talent without courage to serve the nation, a person who do not believe in himself thinking that serving the nation is tantamount to throwing away a golden opportunity for oneself to become a talent in the future, a person who is relatively irresponsible in fighting for the nation, I will have not even treat him as a talent in the first place. No, not even those who create AIDS vaccine and come back yelling that he has escaped draftings so that he can create the vaccine.

All these are craps. I do not like NS in the first place, but I do know the importance of us leading the role. If 10% of us will to be like that pianst and I think many people can do it, what will happen to Singapore? Thus, this person deserved to be condemned.

At least in NS, it is up to individuals to prove that how they can spend time wisely and not wasting of time. It is an obligation. It is a matter of survivial of nation.

One interesting thing to take note is that for many, I stress the word "many" with "most", people who support that pianst with certain justification that look nice on paper but very unfair in reality, many of them are female who do not spend 2 to 2.5 years of their lifespans, serving the nation at all.

I know that the crux of the matter might be with the systems, might be with the law, but we should not be supporting that pianst and letting him too lightly off at all. We should be compassionate but in right contexts. I do not trust a talent that do not live up to his obligation. And it is a matter of fact that he has to stay overseas and do not or cannot enjoy the rights of Singapore because simply he broke the law in the first place. So enough of the crap "enjoyment of rights" thing.

The system and law presently might have allowed people to escape with AWOL. If I will to be aware of the other people who are like the piansts earlier (I am still young and recently become more mature and aware), I will equally blame the other people, and thus I am not being unfairly unjust to that pianst just because he has talents. I do not want any accusations that I "envy" his talents and therefore try to make him down as hard as possible.

For now, Singapore is more stable and richer than 28 years ago. And his motive in coming back to contribute and to meet his parents is equilavent to getting and reaping some rewards from the present Singapore which has recognised Arts just only recently. Thus, he come back "bravely" to face the music, and a lousy music it is ...

We will acknowledge his talent but his action make me sick ... And I congratulate him in enjoying his status as a British citizen and good luck to him. He has become a model for those people who can find ways to get out of NS. And he is a typical example to show, that the world is still unfair in one way or another. But I can say that even some rich people prefer to send their "talented" son to Singapore so that they will learn what is hardship and what is teamwork and responsibility. That pianst is not loyal and I do not want to hear any one saying that he is "loyal" ... "Loyal", my foot ... In fact, that pianist can be a hypocrite (A possibility, and notice the word "can"), and a cavalier Singaporean ...


(Above is just what I thought of. It is crude and offensive. But I do not care. The world is quite unfair and even a system of fairness like communists is still unfair afterall. Anyway, good for that guy and I hope that all the best for him in overseas. His action have somehow make him an "outcast" (Not a real outcast, but to us, he is an outcast by heart), for all his talents, in Singapore ... I may be wrong and all these are my views. But still, I have always felt that a talent does not give him/her the power to break the law and be irresponsible ...)

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A good saying from my friend ...


"Those who are skilled in combat do not become angered,
those who are skilled at winning do not become afraid.
So the wise win b4 the fight, while the ignorant fight to win."
---Sensei Nitewalk (1986- )

Friday, December 02, 2005

A cycle

Life is like a cycle ... Just like the cycle of a butterfly and a caterpillar .......


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Yesterday, sadly, I lost a bicycle. The bicycle was new, and I personally fixed it, making sure every parts of what I perceived as my choice are put together. Alas, I only managed to cycle 1 time only. I parked my new bicycle at Woodlands MRT station ...

Sometimes I do not know what is wrong with me. I already know that Woodlands MRT station bicycle stands are hot spot for bicycle theives and poacher. I also knew that the place is very dangerous for my bicycle if I will not to do something more.

Too bad for me, I only put up a normal cable lock to my bicycle. A cable look to the professional key pricker is nothing but a paper clip effort to open the lock. I should have done more.

For whole day during work, I just feel uneasy. I got this feeling of my bicycle being lost. I also realise that I have done the wrong thing.

Anyway, what is lost is lost. I can easily lodge a police report, but I know better. And with no receipts or bicycle number as proof, there is no use even if I found my bicycle. The "new owner" just has to insist it is his/her, or change certain parts.

I have said that as a person who seem to have nothing talented. The only way I can succeed is to strategise well. Nonetheless, I do realise it takes certain degree of diligence and commitment to implement the strategies.

My former bicycle which is a scrap metal, is not stolen as I have strategically set "traps". I spray black ink around the seat. Whoever want to pluck my seat off, will have his/her hands stain for weeks even with soaps. I also put it in the place where there is most people walking. I also "camouflage" it with the other bicycles of the same type. They are old and haggy.

Most importantly, I know no one will want to waste effort to steal a "metal scrap". WHoever will to steal my former bikes, I will thank him for helping me to get rid of my garbage.

Anyway, I am also relatively impatient. I just want to implement the" bicycle scheme" immediately as my transport from my home to Woodlands interchange and Mrt station. Normally, I will have to take bus, and bus are expensive over the long run.

Bicycle is faster, and I can exercise at the same time. And I do not need to share the same squeezy bus with many commuters. Except for the rain which I have contingency of raincoats readily available in my back pack, everything seems to pinpoint to bicycle as a good mode of transport for me.

Anyway, impatience has caused me dearly. I have actually devised the "triple lock scheme". That is to triple lock my new bike, so that even thieves will even feel troublesome pricking of my bike. My bike is very new, and obviously better than the other bikes. Therefore, those bicycle stealers will confirm hit my bike as a target.

I have even hatched a more ruthless and lame plan. I will paste a piece of paper to my bike. The content is that a curse will effect on anyone who take away my bike without my permission. This will at least deter some people who are superstitious.

But impatience cause me dearly. I have actually chose a good location where I try to mask my bike with the other bikes. To protect my bike, I parked it in a shelter, and also where people walk around the area.

But, the only regrets and error I have is the lock. This prove to be the point which I lost to those *******. People can easily prick open my bike with the pretext that they are trying to open the lock. This is why they will not be suspicious compare to those who carry pliers with them.

Impatience I am that cause me misery. And maybe a stream of bad luck too. Realising my mistakes, I promise myself that I will implement the "triple lock scheme" asap during my off days. Alas, theives are theieves, and they jump to opportunities. A fat pig I have, with both my hands free, given to them.

Anyway, I should stop whincing about my bikes and get on with life ...

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I believe life is a cycle. Maybe beacause I am a Buddhist(though not that devout, but is devoted), that I have this concept in my mind. Kharma and reincarnation is part of cycle. However I am not going to dwell into the religious concept.

What I am saying is the cycle of good fortune and bad luck. If you prefer to look at it scientifically, it is advantage probability vs disadvantage probability.

Just like when we go up slope on a journey, always there will be a down slope. Naturally, we feel better when travelling down slope as we are not against gravity, and also when the gravity is with us. This is why we feel "good" at down slope, even earlier on, we suffer while defying against gravity while going up slope.

Indeed, life is like this. Our good luck and bad one occur like a cycle. Of course even talking about lives, it is not that simple. Sometimes, it seems bad luck come together at the same time, and lady luck do not smile on you. But anyway, as long as good deeds are done, luck will always favour you. You feel better, you feel really good, and then the cycle will flow faster and better, and you get more goodies ... Luck is not that simple that we count the quantity of luck, that means number of good lucks = number of bad lucks. Luck is in fact subjective, as there are relatively different to different people.

This is tantamount to, you go upslope in a very steep path, but you go downslope 2 times, yet those 2 downslopes are gentle, taking that the potential energy is the same for the position of upslope, and the height of the slope. It is also vice-versa for the other way round. Going upslope 2 times, and downslope 1 time. This is just a simple illustration that not many things inclusive of "luck" can be counted mathematically.

And the good and bad deeds which somehow affect the feel-good factor will also affect the luck or probability field. Of course it may seem that the probability field is always positive for someone who is bad, as he/she did many bad deeds. But this may be due to the fact that his/her luck comes from other sources. In religious context, it may be due to kharma, or from the parents or anyone else who owe them in previous lives or the present lives.

Scientifically, you can say that it is the exception. That person is exception. There is always 99.999999999999% and not 100%. Of course, without doing good deeds, the bad person will only use up the good luck without "replenishing" it.

This is why, it may come to an end, that bad person will end up badly. Villians will not have good ends. An example, If the bad guy keeps using up the luck from a source such as his wife, then his wife will bound to suffer ...

This is why when many good fortunes strike me suddenly, I will be quite taken aback. I will feel that something might be wrong. And when bad fortunes befall me, I will try to amend and ensure that phase of period will be gone without me having any repercussions.

Only the balance and flexible mixture of good and bad luck blending together in the lifestyle, can make a person indeed happy. Of course, if you achieve a sense of self-actualisation and self-realisation, then even when bad luck befalls you, you will laugh it away, and that the bad luck may seem nothing bad to you afterall. Of course, happy-go-lucky is negative, but reaching the state of enlightenment is positive no matter what happens.

Life is like a cycle, but in this life, we must live life to the fullest. Eat, drink or be merry, for tomorrow we die. Cycle does not mean that we can waste our lives for we will eventually come back. But cycle means that our physical self is a cycle, but mentally and psychologically we are not. This is why, we will have to live life well, for our mental health and mental self. For physical, then it is up to the individuals to be responsible. Even if circumstances (Outside environments) [Or people might label it as fate) affect the probability field, perception is important. Perception will lead to action, and this action will show how well we do in this cycle. Mental and physical are linked, if this cycle, we fail miserably, then for the next cycle, it will be harder for us to get things right in the next cycle. Thus, it is better to get things well done in this cycle for the good of the next cycle.

What I stated above is not just religiously thought of, though the religious context might have affected my ideas. But anyway, it is a way to prompt us to live life well and to the fullest. Then only can we achieve eternal happiness ...

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(Added on ...... 4/12/2005)

Today, buy a 3rd-hand bicycle from Adam. It is a suspension bike. After getting everthing fixed, I also buy the supposedly expensive and good lock. I am not going to let my bicycle be misappropriated or stolen anymore. The bicycle is quite good, except it lacks basket, wheel protector (Help to prevent the splashing of water when the bike cuts through a pool of water) and bell. Anyway, I am only using the bike for transport, and I believe that a good bike that can cycle is good enough for me. Since it is a 3rd hand, this means it is not new, and thereby I hope the professional bicycle thief will have lesser tenacy to "eye" my bicycle.

Anyway, I cycle all the way from Bishan to Woodlands. It is quite tiring, but at least this is nothing compare to the numerous night cycling I have gone through during my ODAC days. I get to explore the secluded Sembawang Hot spring. The whole trips took 2 hrs and will be lesser if not for the fact that I take periodic rest along the way.

Anyway, to continue about the cycle thing ... I believe this cycle is true not only for religious but also scientifically. Carbon and Nitrogen cycle for instance. This means that if something is not cycled, it is just lost in a way that it does not partake in the cycle. Simply, like carbon, the carbon falls into the deep ocean and it seems we humans cannot "utilise" them. Thereby, in our contexts, it is not in the cycle.

This is why, I insists that something that may not seem not to be in cycle, are actually in cycle. But because we are the one that view and decide which thing is in a cycle, we may miss it.

Many things in lives, are like that. Seldom have we notice something close to us, will we cherish it until we lose them ...

Anyway, all these are my views, I may be wrong in today's context and society ... I will love to hear about other views about how other people view lives, and also the cycle's perception ...

Monday, November 28, 2005

NS promotion ... And my diary ... The 3 Suckers of Brains

(The rank of Sergeant ...)


For the past 1 week, everyday I report to Tracom for courses. Sergeant courses to be exact, and of course this is something to be happy about. This means that my monthly wages or allowances will increase substantially.

There are 2 views I have about this course.

And of course, none of this is right or wrong, but simply politically correct or wrong.

Personal (Negative) views - This course sucks. This course just waste my time. Everyday long lectures, and having to do a crap project. This is wasting my time. Patrolling may be a lot better than this. Just give us the rank ... And money ...

Pragmatic views - This course, though long and monotonous, is useful and important in my future guide to be a leader. I might not want to be a leader, but I cannot run away from the fact that I am going to be group leader for the next 1 year. This is due to my a "little" seniority and "rank". The facilitators have tried their best efforts to make the courses as lively as possible, and I cannot help but applaud them for their efforts. Long and boring, but flashes of the essence of courses are going to help me in the future. KNow more won't die, know less may die ... And only by going through the hard way can we gain something. Life is not a bed of roses. Moreover, I am a lot more fortunate than my Army friends. As their courses requires months of stay-in, and doing "shits" or lousy chores, and getting scoldings. I get to sit in an air-con room, comfortable and relax. Therefore, I should appreciate what I have now.

The personal views are just the "dark" side inside me. Of course, on the rationale side, I do still follow pragmatic side. This is also important in establishing the self-enlightenment. But the personal views can be used as a judgement on cons, even though the cons may be a lot more bias and narrow than reality.

Anyway, tomorrow will be the last day of the course. Submission of the written reports of the project and a last test of MCQ. I am confident I can get through it.

But being enlightened, means I cannot base on personal views to judge anything. Many things must be taken into account. Of course, to save trouble, use Occam Razor, where simplicity solves problems. However, I view simplicity out of the whole box, or simply simplicity within chaos. (For those who do not know what I am talking of this, just treat it as crap)

I have met many friends in the courses, of which we use the chance to converse. All of them complain, some of them whince. Anyway, I am still glad to meet my squad mates, and make many friends during the courses. This in fact opened up my world.



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(Journals .........)

For this weekend, I spent my time with my friends doing what we are supposed to do. Though this is busy, I think it is worth it. Hard work without believing yourself is worthless. I have faith and believe that the formula of success can come. We even sought advice from an expert friend ...
I have also added one hard work theory. Good hard work saves time and bring quality, and not waste time. I have shared this with a friend, for which impatience might hinder work, while slacking brings down the work. Perfect balance must be achieved, just like when how I study. Study Hard, Play Hard. For me, likewise, when out patrolling, my motto: Work Hard, Rest Hard and Relax Hard.

So much for all the crap thinking ... Heehee ...

I have learnt many important things from that expert friend of mine. About the "Story theory". I coined this term by my own. This is about painting a nice story, a nice life, a nice finale. This can help to keep passion going... As life is a long journey, there is always ups and downs. Likewise, when doing a project. A major project, business or others. Painting a nice rosy picture will help. Of course, we must be cautious, not to fall into the trap of delusion. But painting the nice finale do keep the fire going in the heart. This will enable us to complete the tasks, willingly and eagerly. Simply, it keeps our morale going.

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The 3 Suckers of Brain ...

Everyone of us will have this type of occurence at one point of time and another.

I name it the 3 suckers of the brains ... These names are termed crudely, as they will make you look like a fool, and a sucker.

First, it is brain freeze.
Next, brain Halt.
Fianlly, brain substitution.

All these are in reference to human psychology and how our brains and neurons work. And all these occur during communication. The reason behind it, I am still exploring. These syndromes I believe are still not named.

Brain freeze means there is this instant when you want to pass a message, but you just cannot pass totally and correctly. Maybe you are anxious, or you are tired, but you cannot pass the right message. Eg: You want to inform everyone to visit the toilets at every houses, but instead, you say, "everyone goes to toilet". Stunningly, while having this experience, you will feel yucks.

Brain Halt is also quite common, for you just cannot relay the message at all. It is like your brain suddenly stop working at that short point of time, and the electricity impulse cannot pass though the axons and dentrites. But, in light syndrome, people will be able to recover or overcome in a few seconds. The more serious one may result in a few minutes. Do not mistake brain Halt with thoughts, as thoughts means you are running through neurons. But Brain Halt will be like the sudden dying of the car engine, and you will have to reboot the car again for the engine to run.

Brain substitution is very common. This is obviously related to how we communicate and how we relay languages. When you want to give a sentence, but somehow, either subconciously other people influences you or subconciously you are thinking of another words, and this cause you to blabber out the subconcious words. Of course, in many cases, people will say, "Sorry, I mean ...". They will correct and reiterate the former sentences. This substitution of words may be due to the "hijacking" of words from the subconcious mind. When we think, for instance in different will, say for Languages, we will only utilise and stress more on the certain part of our brain, in this case, the cerebellum of the brain.

Of course, vital activities like heart beat are all set automantically. But our will to speak, means we will be stressing on part of the brain. Within this part, there may be "intra-hijacking" of subconcious words. Or in more serious scenario, there may be "inter-hijacking". "Inter-hijacking" may means you do not want to walk but want to speak, but you somehow walk. .. In many normal sense, people multi-task. But in this substitution, people do mutually exclusive action, or simply, not 2 things at a time, but merely doing one thing over the other in which you have willed.

I will like to iterate all these syndromes are normal, and having these does not mean you are mentally unsound. However, if many of these syndromes persist, it is better for the person to go through concentration excercise. Playing certain types of game or exercise that helps you concentrate. And learning to be calm and relax. So that less jumping and hijacking of neurons can occur.

What I have thougt of may sound lame and crap. However I feel that they are right as I have personally experienced all these and also collate based on the experiences of others. I have explored and exploited the possibilities. And from all these possibilities, I have formulated some hypothesis. To better this hypothesis, it is best to do scientific experiements.
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[Added infos on brain ...]

Left-brain/Right-brain

As is true for every other functional ability, parts of the brain specialize in language. The brain has two roughly identical halves -- the left and the right hemispheres. We now know that there are small differences in the sizes of some regions in the two hemispheres. These differences may form the basis for the first major brain specialization for language -- lateralization of language to the left hemisphere.

In about 98 percent of right-handers, the left hemisphere accomplishes most language processing functions. In non-right handers (which include left-handed and ambidextrous people), language functions are far more likely to involve the right hemisphere. There is some evidence that lateralization differs in males and females.

There is also evidence that the non-dominant hemisphere is primarily involved in functions that are just one step beyond the essential language functions of relating form to literal meaning. These include determining the emotional state of a speaker from his or her tone of voice, and appreciating humor and metaphor.

[For more info, http://www.med.harvard.edu/publications/On_The_Brain/Volume4/Number4/F95Lang.html]


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Anyway, it is pretty much of what happened over the week. I am quite tired, as 7 days, I work. Unlike the normal patrol days, which I will rest tremendously. I can be a workaholic sometimes. "). Anyway, Xmas coming and Chinese New Year coming ... Seasons greeting ....

And happy aniversary to my blog .... !!!


[I have to be ambiguous to protect identity of the people who do not want to be embroiled. Only related people will understand the full context of the whole picture. Just get the gist of what I am talking for any viewers. Pardon me ...]

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Himura Kenshi (And William Kenshi ... Heehee)




(The above 2 pictures are gotten from "http://www.animegalleries.net/album/191".)



Rurouni Kenshin or Himura Kenshin (I prefer to call him Himura Kenshi or simply Samurai X).

A character that looks like a girl (but the author add a X to his left cheek to inject masculinity to this character), weak and small-sized.

Nonetheless, do not be fooled by this outlook.

This guy is known as Batossai the Man Slayer. The very Man who help in the building up of Meiji Era, or simply an era that modernisation and industralisation takes place in Japan, starting from around 1860s. But Batossai's contribution is to assassinate important figures from the former era where Emperor and Monarchs rule, in order to start a revolution.

When starting a revolution, chaos is a must. When a country is stable, what is the use of starting revolution when everyone just want to live their lives peacefully, and that the government troops can concentrate their efforts in one recalcitrant organisation, and will probably have ousted the outlaws and rebels (Labels given to these people by the ruling party) easily.

This is always a price for a revolution. Overthrowing a dynasty or kingdom, slaughtering of many people including civilians, countries embroiled in chaos. This, you can see from history of various countries including Singapore herself. China herself, is a very obvious example on how many people die and how Sun-Yat Sun, the founding father sacrifice much to start the revolution to overthrow Qing empire.

In fact revolution especially political ideology is often associated with wars and it is in fact an euphemism of "War". And as you know, revolution always start when the people feel there is a need for changes that are beneficial to them and yet, ruling parties do not budge. This will cause dissentment among the people. And when a new ideology occurs that fits the changes, and normally seems more "fairer", then people will fight for ideology. When fighting occurs, a war happens. Violences and sacrfices will kick in.

Such as in the horror of wars, and the political ideology, and a political revolution.

However, there is always peaceful revolution, like the Industrial revolution started by the British in the 1980s. But even this types of revolution requires many sacrifices. Maybe not so bloody, but resentment do occur always. But Industrial revolution is a successful one without much violence and blood due to the fact that it is economical rather than fully political in nature. This is why you can say that more people die for ideology rather than political.

Sacrifices means, a revolution cannot always be possibly fair to all people, but as always benefit most. The minorities are always a sacrifices. However, it is always the responsibility of the ruling party or the government to minimise the unfairness accorded to the minorities due to the revolution. There is also a need to train minorities to adapt and change with the society. Or else, there will be repercussive violences if things are not handled appropriately.

Okay, hahah ... Enough of elaboration of revolution. For Samurai X, Kenshi, he is a great guy that is empowered with a very good sword techniques known as Hiten style, an ancient swordplay skills. And he looks very young.

What I have learnt from him ... That is of course not to become an assasin, but that doing housework is in fact a type of exercise and training.

Now, everyday, with 2 days work, I am very free. I spent my half of my free time doing all forms of housework and menial labour. Doing laundry, changing fish water, taking care of the fish, praying joss sticks to immortals 2 times everyday, vaccuming the floor, mopping the floor, drying and ironing of clothes, wiping cupboards and windows. You name it, I do it. And sometimes, even cooking (Heehee)...

I may look like a househusband, but another 1/4 of my free time I spent on television, anime, computers and library via reading. Another 1/4 of the free time going out just for a fling at window shopping, and "meetings", "doing work" for the "dream" and even tutoring. Sometimes going out with friends to rollerblade, watch movie, or a couple of bowling and pools. Manyatime, I also play chess, Go chess, by my own (to my own dismay) as I have no common competitors. (Hai~~)

This is why I am quite busy if I can say. "Busy" in the sense of finding things to do. There is always things to do. Menial labour is not as lowly as I think it is. In fact, it trains up me. Like any other exercise, doing household chores also train up my different sets of muscles. Many of my inspirations are also gotten from doing household chores.

Like Kenshi, a great person does not mean he does only big things, but ignoring many supposedly small things like menial labour. Household chores can also teach me something about endurance and hard work. The hard work many Singaporeans perceive is unfortunately very minor, compare to others. Look at what the foreigners we have employed doing the menial jobs in Singapore, these are hard works. Of course, facing stress in office, has its own aptitude afterall. But at least, there is always a presence of a nice sofa, hot coffee and air-con. Under the hot sun, doing labour, is hard work, even with a certain degree of welfare.

Kenshi after all the slaughthering and establishment of Meiji era, he decided not to kill anymore. Unlike many other swordsman who cannot accept that time has changed, he did not commit sucide or just sigh. In fact, he holds the sword of "Yin Ren Dao" (A type of sword that is shaped opposite and cannot be used to slay people at all), and swore to protect the people with his sword. Thus instead of becoming Batossai the Manslayer, he becomes the protector, and has helped many people including the new Meiji government in stablising the country by quashing rebels, mostly formed by the former era swordmans who cannot embrace the new era.

Of course, in terms of calibre, I can never become like Kenshi in sword techniques. Other than a very basic degree of Japanese history (Which many contexts in the story are not very accurate but still acceptable) and the housework principle, I have learnt about the meaning behind what is wrong and what is right. This is stated in the (Friday, October 07, 2005 "Resting ..." and "Blogging") entry which I have blogged.

A very important point I have learnt, and that this keeps me open and a balance view. For I have vowed to find out the way of Balance.

Anyway, the "family" behind Kenshi like Kaoru, Yahiko, Sasuske, and Megi are not the real family, but a family that is formed by trust and fate. Friends are somehow very precious to us, and that I have set my own principles of, Thou shall value all kinships and friendships in my heart of law book. Kenshi Group merely consolidates and prove to me how important a family is, and that a wandering person without a home, friends and kins is a very sad hermit, and eventually die off without happiness.

Sometimes fate might seem to betray us which is not true. Manyatime, it is our choices that is "betraying" us, and therefore a lousy fate is always caused by ourselves and not an excuse of "Heaven or fate is being very unfair to me". Fate simply follow our instincts to span out how the future will be. Kharma in Buddhism and Hinduism follow this principle but unfortunatly, Kharma sometimes is very inflexible and therefore people will choose to hate it.

Therefore flexibility is a way to go behind the engine of Balance, which is also the symbol of Libra.

Many to learn ... Life is a long long path ...

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P.S: I have added an "Add-on" in the Gai Sensei and Rock Lee section blog entry just below. Feel free to read on what I have thought of luck and what Gai perceives luck as ...

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Rock Lee and Gai Sensei (What I learnt about)



(The above 2 pictures are from http://www.animegalleries.net/category/62)



Rock Lee

A Genin level Ninja, he is a Taijutsu specialist and Gai's student. Incapable of using NinJutsu or GenJutsu, he spent all his time and concentration on Taijutsu. It is because of this determination and hard working ethic that Lee has become an outstanding Ninja. When in heated battle, Lee removes the extremely heavy weights he wears on his legs. This vastly increases his already amazing speed. After using his trump card and specialty technique, the Extreme Lotus for the first time against Gaara, Lee's body was so beaten up that he could barely even move, yet even after his left leg and left arm were both completely pulverised and he fell unconscious, he still stood up to prove his ninja way. However, because of all of the damage done to his body during the battle, he was told by the Leaf Village medics that he would be unable to live as a Ninja any more. He would not give up and, even with his torn and unusable body, continued to try practicing.


Maito Gai

Sporting very thick eyebrows, an exceedingly unconventional persona and a very shiny haircut, Gai is a jounin(The high rank of Ninja) who is the rival of Kakashi and the sensei of a team consisting of Rock Lee, Neji and Tenten (though he has, by far, bonded with Lee the most- it was under Gai's guidance that Lee started tapping his potential at all, having been subpar in all ninja categories up to then). Gai tends to appear accompanied by Nin-kame, a gigantic redturtle (his summon), and has several weird mannerisms- including, but not limited to Giving the thumbs up and smiling with teeth so white they give the proverbial "ting". Punching Lee for various reasons and immediately bursting into tears and hugging him, and generally over-reacting, even by anime character standards.Gai claims to have a record of 50 wins and 49 losses against Kakashi, but it is hinted that many of those wins might be in games of Rock, Paper, Scissors rather than in actual battle. He believes that "hard work without believing in yourself is worthless".


Above two characters bios, I have gotten from "http://narutodownload.com/".

These 2 characters are very interesting fellows, and if in real life, will have become my best friends.

I have learnt many things from them. "Great people", like Kakashi,Nenji (White Eye Boy) and Sasuke (Person who possess Sharugan eye), who are widely acknowledged as a genius, admired by many and feared by enemies. They possessed talents and intelligence in their field, the Ninja techniques, and are also gifted with unique traits (like their eyes, although Kakashi is not bornt with yet obtain one Sharugan by a twist of fate).

These 2 people have many sayings that inspire me much. I am not that great as a person, but neither am I that lousy. However I have many occasions when I am pretty down and out, yet I learnt many from these 2 people (And this is why I like Naruto Manga so much).

Sayings like, "hard work without believing in yourself is worthless". This is the word, Gai Sensei tell Rock Lee. Rock Lee is a very determined person, and he is always teased and ostracised by his fellow comrades as unlike other Ninjas, he can only use physical techniques of Ninja but not Hallucination and Ninja techniques. Nonetheless, with great determination and willpower, he become one of the feared opponent for his speed and physical techniques.

And Rock Lee is lucky to meet Gai, who encouraged and inspire him for his ideas.

Though both bring laughter to many and viewed as eccentric for their over-reacted and exaggerated action, I still like both of them. As both possess the 3 laws of what a Man should be.

What I learnt - The Never Say Die attitude, the Genius concept (I have written in my blog in the earlier entries and before) and the ×ÔÎҹ涨concept[In Chinese, pls open Chinese software to view the words] (Or the concept of Setting harsh agreements to one self).

The concept of setting harsh agreements to one self is not unheard of, but not many people including me dare to follow this all the time, as we fear the harsh punishment that we do not want to undergo and the concept of pragmatism and praticality kicks in (Like Many Singaporeans.)

Gai Sensei says that setting harsh agreements is tantamount to punishments for a wager or a duel, and that, this will allow the duelists to do his best so as to elude the hellish punishments, as this is the same as everything is at stake and that the duelists are pushing himself to the desperated end by setting extreme conditions and stakes. By pushing one self, the best of the person is exposed. Even if the person lost the duel, and have to do the gruel stakes he set for himself, there are advantages. First, the gruel stakes normally involve physical like 500 push-ups at one go, or sommersault 500 times, and this can train up the physical aspects of the person while fulfilling the punishments.

And other than using the chance to train up, the best in you is forced to show up.

But of course, this concept must be equipped wth the right courage and valour. And the person must put up with the humiliation of being ridculed when doing punishments or when losing. Of course, the person must accept the wager, and fulfill punishments when lost. A person who goes back on his words indiscriminately is not a real man at all.

I viewed myself as being witty and not cunning as I want to be a good and true Man. Like the above great people whom I have shown. I believe that I cannot be that steady and straightforward like Gai and Lee, but I will always remember the principles I have learnt from them.

At occasions, I am sometimes even being ridiculed for my folly and stupid actions. And also, in retrospect, from the earlier entries in my blog, I have also talked about the working hard and smart. I have to work doubly hard because simply I am not endowed with the good fortune of a gift. And so, working hard is very relevant to me though many people may laugh it off. People may study 1 time and become a professor. I know I definitely cannot do it, but I will work doubly hard, and study 4,5 or even 6 times. Of course, working smartly then kicks in. Thus, in this, I have learnt the values from Rock Lee especially, with the "guidance" from Gai.

So, somehow, Gai and Rock Lee's blood flows in me.

But yet, my dream, targets and character are still very closely linked to Shikumaru ...

The first 2 people I have introduced in imparting good principles and values to me. ...

Many to come .... :).

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(Adds-on)

Ah Gai also once said a very important thing that hit me very deeply. He said, "In terms of strength between people, Luck actually plays a great part in establishing who is better ..."

What he said is actually very correct. Though it is very wrong to throw your life and fate entirely to luck, it is a fate that a good probability coupled with a lady luck is very important in determining whether you will be on a higher end ... A good wits and strategy merely helps you to rise higher, and a super bad luck will render all your wits useless.

There are many examples that happen to all of us that do not need to be spelled out. Therefore, acknowledging that good luck, good conincidences, and a good probability will allow someone to become better, is a must for me. But like the principle of survival, you cannot just depend on food and other basics to survive. What about shelter and clothing ???

These are the comforts that we must have although the intensity will depend on how posh we want to be. This is why, I will treat luck as my clothing, that is part of our survival. While strategies and wits and action possess the principles of surviving. "Moral" will become the definition of whether the means we get for surviving smells good, or filthy. and "Moral" is tantamount to choices, the choices we make, in life.

While fate and destiny becomes shelter. Fate and destiny also means circumstances, and eventually leads to environment. Many people may perceive this as a slippery slope argument, but in certain prospectives, they are one. Environment and circumstances means shelter literally. And shelters influence your choices. And also the building up of the characteristics. Of course, certain choices also vary depending on the ideology instilled or created and the willpower of the beholder.

From the above, the "survival" simply means winning in a duel (No matter from a small competition to a big battle). It is impossible to "win 100%" mathematically, that means not losing anything at all. [To be lame, even playing scissos, paper, stones, when you win, you still use up your effort via energy and time ... (Lame! Diao!)]

To analyse how I should live, and how to win a very small and insignificant duel is very unnecessary and even perplexing. But this is a way, to show how complex I can be, or whether I want to be complex at all. I can also prefer Occam's Razor, to think simple and easy. In manyatime, Cool and Easy wins the game.

This is the add-ons, I have just garnered while pondering over Gai's insights on luck as a vital factor in terms of strength.

The insights I gained are wonderful, and help me eradicate misery. And unlike Science, which solve one question, but to produce many, I think philosophy and religions are the ones that put a full stop to certain infinites that will cause our brain to explode and unnecessary stress and mental anxiety.

Sometimes, putting full stops are imperative, as it gives us time to see whether we are on the right tracks and even spending the time asking whether the precious time we have are put to good use. Just imagine, looking at an essay without full stops ...

So much for thinking again ....

[Adds on done at 1500 hrs on Nov 14 Year 2005, Monday]

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Anime ...

Naruto !!! Yo ... GoGo ...


Pokemon Anime (Up to Pokemon Generation and Advanced)



Samurai X (Himura Kenshi)


Yu-Gi-Oh

Hikaru


Full Metal Alchemist (FMA)


Inuyasha



These are all the anime and Manga, I have watched. Amazingly, all of these products are Japanese. When can Singapore ever produce this type of top-rated anime ...

All the anime talks about friendships, rivalry, principles and values ... And The main characters in these anime, are Man of Valour, Man of character and Man of principles ...

I have learnt much and these have actually allowed myself to become the person I wanna be.

Kudos to all of these Manga's creators and people working ... !!!!!

(For many of the entries after, I will input what I have learnt from many different characters in these manga. Of course, other than these, for the English side, I do watch Marvel Series of animation... But of course, Japanese are still better in this aspect, I guessed)

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Shikamaru (Testing of the uploading ...)


This is my favourite Naruto character ...

[Haha ... Finally, I am very happy, that the uploading works. Actually, it is easy, it is just that I am so stupid, not to notice that I can just simply add up using blog. Though I have signed up for photobucket. It may prove useful, as long as I can put pictures in the net, and not in my blog.]

[Anyway, thanks Tara for her recommendation ....]

Shikamaru, my favourite Naruto character. This is a personal blog, and I believe I got this picture from the Naruto Fans.

Shikamaru, Why? Why not other great people like, Kakashi, Rock Lee, Ah Gai Sensei or even Naruto himself. (I just don't like Sasuke, he gives me a feeling of a haughty person though he is an Innate Genius) Obviously, it is because I am like Shikamaru in almost all aspects.

Well, for one of the similar thing like him, I do not like trouble, the necessary or voluntary though my principle that I must rise to the occasion, when there is a big thing happening or when I am needed, still stands. I hate trouble, trouble makers, bastards who create trouble. Or any other mudane or even small things that are troublesome and cumbersome.

For another thing I might be facisimilie of him is that, I do not like to be a leader or want to be a leader. It is not that I am chicken, but that I just do not like the responsibility and the attention. But I do adhere to instructions, or even forcing and impeachment. This is why, on certain occasions, I am still a leader afterall, though I am relunctant, but I still do my job well enough. But, if I can avoid, I will love to, as I feel that I am not a leader by myself. Or when forced to, I will feel that I am not bornt to be leader, and therefore imbued with a sense that I am like a puppet in a play, forcing to do things against my own will, in the name of fate.

And another thing, I understand that I am not bornt that well in my physical aspects. I am tall, but average-built. IN sports, I cannot achieve the best. And so, I look to other aspects and that will be using the brain and strategies to increase my winning chances when the occasion arises. Though I dare not say that I am that powerful compare to Shikumaru's startegies and battle ploy, I do always make use of strategies to calculate and predict. What I particularly, like is the ploy within ploy. That means, when dealing with smart people, letting obvious ploy be apparent to them, so that they will let their guards down in other aspects, allowing a second ploy to work. Ploy within ploy within ploy, will be the harder one of course. All these require good calculations and estimation and an in depth knowledge of human psychology. And of course, sometimes, fate play a trick, or simply that person is too lucky, that the ploy within ploy cannot work, because of certain choices he/she makes. And not that I purposely plot, for my principle is I do not plot against others (As it is very troublesome and tiring), but prevent others from plotting against me (Of course, I hope to be very neutral).

Other subtle analysis, I have also found out that like Shikamaru, I belong to a very neutral type, that means, I am not very well-liked by everyone, but I can confirm that for all the people who know me, they are not my enemies. In fact, I hold many secrets, that I am sometimes called a "Swiss Bank".
In life, there are 3 types of people. One, a person with great charisma, for what he does, when he appears, everyone simply like him, and look up to him. 2nd, a neutral person. And 3rd, simply outcast, and I am sure everyone knows this.
These caracteristics are dependent on circumstances, and to be which types of people, it is judged by when most of the circumstances, you are.
For me and Shikamaru, no one likes us, but people do not hate us, and which is very fine for me, as I hate attention, manyatimes, I still get attention in one way or another. To be neutral, yet if there is a mission, we can be relied on, and do our best, however much troublesome the tasks are.

The last aspect is of course about the life I want to live. Like Shikamaru, I want to live a peaceful life, marry a kind lady who is not so pretty, and not so ugly (For I do not want that much attention yet be neutral). Do my best until certain age, and find some place to live, and get to see the nature and the clouds everyday. Drinking tea, play all types of chess with a friend who love chess as much as me, eating some snacks, and be carefree throughout, with no woes. Shiok man. I believe I can live like this, and I will have no regrets. Hah ...

Of course in other aspects, like my background, is perfectly skewed from him. For he has an orthodox Ninja techniques that is passed down from his earlier generation.
For me, I am just an ordinary child, who believes that even if I will to pass a legacy, I will be the beginner, the starter for my future generation.

But I do like interesting characters like Naruto, Rock and even Ding Zhi (The fat guys who always eat).

In my life, my close friends are like them. But definitely, we may not be that apparent, but at least we are not outcast.

My principles of "4 oceans worldwide, all are my friends" will not change, regardless of religions or races.

In fact I am proud to have a "personal law" in my heart, for all the influences (I refuse to comment whether it is bad), I might have gone into smoking and drinking ....

Now, I am thinking of doing big things, which has the least troubles, (But yet, there always troubles around, hai~~~).

So much for comparing ... ... LOL :).

And btw, I have got many names wrong for the Naruto Manga characters whom I have inputted into the blog. Hahaha ... But at least I found out the real and official name now. (The mistakes caused due to the fact that I watch Naruto show in Chinese and not Japanese or English ...)

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Inspiration seeker, the religion and the Genius ...

I am the one who like to sought for inspiration. Though sometimes life does not give you the time to seek out inspiration to do things. Nonetheless, if I have my own chance, my own way, I will choose inspiration over relentless work. This is why this blog, still bounded by laws, provides me a perfect template to do what I want. Blog provides carte blanche, the freedom to act as one wishes(By law for certain sensitive restriction). I believe many others share with me the same notion.

Almost 2 weeks, and as usual, my work continues. With considerably amount of off days, I have many things to do. My colleagues complain to me that they have nothing to do. It is not that they have nothing to do, but simply, they do not know where to find.

For me, I started with household chores. Vaccuming, mopping, changing fish water and even helping out in laundry. Do not be surprised, for all these are form of hard work and exercise and they take up almost half of the day. The rest of the day, I will be watching anime, like Naruto. I have bought finish the whole set until Comic book 29, and I am going to finish watching the entire episode soon.

I have tried to find ways to upload some visual materials into my blog for I do not want my blog to be too boring. I want my blog to be simple and clean, giving a sense of pureness.

I have not added links to any websites for mine was not an advertisement ground, and also I will like to "protect" my friends (Stupid idea!) for those who come into my blog. I allow others to link me, but this does not mean all my other friends will allow others to be linked to them. To save all the trouble, I might as well, exclude all links.

Soon, the first picture I am going to upload is going to be my favourite naruto character, by the courtesy of the author and the publisher. Though Naruto and Lee are people of characters, and I appreciate and admire them with all my heart, they are still not my types. My favourite character is ... Hahaha... When I upload, you all will know. His character is like me, and I hope to be like him, of course in certain aspects. He is the one that is always scared of trouble, but will always rise to the occasion, and did well he is.

Other than Samurai X Himura Kenshi, they are many man of characters that I admire. I believe I can be Man of character, Man of Valour and Man of principles. These I called them the 3 Man laws. These three are the aspects I want to be. I might be quite far from what I stand now, and of course action will be the one that speaks, for action speaks louder than words.

I like the phrase of Roc Lee in Naruto: They are many types of genuis. Hardworking, and Innate. Let the hardworking genuis beat the Innate genius. All the genius are sui generis in one way or another. Other than the hardworking genius and the Innate, I will like to add one more. That is Potential genius.

Some genius are meant to be activated through significant occasions and events. The potential genius are hidden, and they need to be brought out. Of course, Naruto himself will suit this type of genius, for he is endowed (Don't know whether it is a curse or blessing in disguise) with the infinite power of chakhra (The supposedly energy and fuel for Ninja techniques) of nine-tailed fox.

And of course an endower will always face certain discrimination and problems. But all of these make people grow stronger. Likewise spiderman will have suited this type of endowing characteristics.

Examples of Innate potential will be Sasuke and White-eye boy (I forget the name). They are bornt to be genius, but they do and are plagued with problems by their own. A good saying in Chinese, every family got their own prayers to be done.

Likewise, I believe myself to be both of potential and hardworking genius. I need to be hardworking to push myself to be limit, and likewise I need to possess the 3 Man laws, to bring out the genius.

The difference between Innate and Potential is that it seems that innate genius are the one that seem to have everything in life by birth. Looks, power, money and luck. They seem to be natural in things. These are of course blessing and for them, they will always be acknowledged whenever they go.

For the other 2 types of genius, you need action for people to acknowledge you. It is also relatively harder and sometimes may end up in more disconsolation as it seems the innate genius will always win you. Worst still, innate genius will taunt the so-called "weaker" ones. And of course, the 2 types of the harder genius will then have to rise to seek the acknowledgement and to prove the innate genius wrong. And to join the rank of heroes.

Heroes might die young in certain and many circumstances, but not much younger. For they will always be in the memory of the ones they save.

Like many others, the reason I love Naruto and Samurai X is that they showcase the characteristics that are very near to our heart. This is also the reason why Spiderman seems to be adored by everyone. They show the exact feelings of many people. The people that seems to be always behind others, until they have the chance to stand up and be on par or even better than the "Successful Ones". The personal problems and discrimination many has to endure.

This is why I salute all these 3 creators of the story, the Naruto, the Samurai X and Spiderman. They have done well and they do deserve some rewards of finance and respect.

In shows, we are supposed to learn. Learn good things we must, change bad things we have to. Many learning values from shows like star wars and even X-men. I have also sought many inspirations and form my own core principles from the shows I have watched.

The Balance principle I have sought is also useful to me in many aspects and have helped me in many uncertain situations, including scenarios like my good friends who are Christians who try to argue about gods and try to convert me. (I refuse to dwell further into any of these and recently there is a big hoo-ha over the hospitals and schools preaching. I do not care to comment as all these are extremely sensitive and I believe many people will have their limits, and that includes the perpetrators and the good old preachers). In the end, I will just conclude myself that it is my choice that I want to go Buddhists. I am not saying other religions are wrong and that I have always respected and even agreed certain principles of the other religions are correct. SO what if certain principles clash, for it is the diversity that matters. The thing I love Singapore other than her stability and safety is the fact of colourful diversity. (Of course I do hate Singapore in another ways like being small but with good comes bad, you gain you lose, the principle of balance)

Particularly, I like the saying of one verse of Hindus, that is there are many ways to become a god, or to be with god, or to become enlightened, and it is only which way you choose. And Christians itself might not be the only correct way. Others are also. Though of course in the fate and light of biasness, it is natural for one to say that his/her religion is more correct than the own. For me, I like another saying of an auntie. Buddhism is more on discovering the world, and Christianity is more on Creation. This might be an understatement, but hey life is about choices. It is just that you have to be responsible for your choices. This is why I have put my choice down much as I agree that time has changed ...

The mixture of Hindus,Buddhisms, Taoism and even Confuciusism have been present since the introduction of Buddhism in Tang dynasty. Until it is passed down today. As a pragmatic person, I will like this to be done for every religions, as this will increase the sense of unity. And as a religious person, since this is my root and my fate and choice, I will just follow and savour the taste of "united diversity". To others, it may seem "rojak", but to me it is another thing. This give me a new sense of identity, and as long as the way is morally correct (Everyone except mentally retarded person will have the sense of "righteousness" of correct, wrong and "yuck" factor regardless of races and religions), I will follow it with all of my heart.

I understand I am going into a relatively sensitive field. But if I am wrong, please do correct me. But in this type of ambiguous and philosophical field, it is hard to ascertain who is correct or wrong, but to go on with life and live happily, peacefully and fruitfully no matter what paths or ways we choose. Even for those who believe in Sciencelogy, they are still part of the believer who simply want the betterment of the world. For this, all religions in the world are the same. For the betterment of all and the world.

But I do hope Science will not be that philosophical for the purpose of creating a Science is to prevent two-edged "literature types" ambivalence. Literature, philosophy, Arts and even religion allow that but hopefully not Science. Science are not supposed to create much more uncertainty and equivocality, but to be more firm and rigid than the other fields and sector. For these, Science and Mathematics are supposed to be unyielding.

But, idea is ideal, and practicality is reality. I do not know how people view different religions or Science, or even the concepts of stupid people and a genius. But I have my own views, and proudly a very flexible but firm one.

I cannot be a gentlemen, but I must be a good man. Of course, a good man's definition has many, and I set the many to a few. A good man thou must be by definition that follows my heart and rationality, with the core concpets of BALANCE.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

"Resting ..." and "Blogging"

Alas, I have taken a long break, a block leave from my "work". Staying at home may seem extremely painful, if not for the fact that I watched the whole series of Samurai X anime and A date with the Vampire III. ALso, a game of Go chess, to follow me. Following the book, treating it as my mentor and guider, I have learnt much but still, not many. I am still not as inept in Go chess as much as Chinese or International chess. As a person who brag that I am willing to play any chess, I must have the basic aptitude in all chesses. Having the right attitude is the first step to success, but follow this, aptitude comes in.

Aptitude might be broken down to categories of IQ and EQ. And the principle of work hard and smart comes in. Then can the result come zooming in. Luck may play a part, but God only help those people who are going to help themselves.

Playing chess, is also like doing things and that includes solving probelm. I remember people laughing at me, saying why I love solving Mathematics questions that much. Well, it is like solving problem, though in basic and really fundamental Math, it is much more easy and systematic and yet I can still get the feelings of satisfaction. This should also be applied in my everyday's life, to which everything may be a problem, but the quests to be solved.

To win decisively, you have to think out of a box.

Sourcing for the "problem", I have been trying to think of creativity. I also prayed for "this" to be successful. I can, and I believe. A great great "game" will that be. Both "educational" and "fun". And I believe God bestow success to those who "BELIEVE".

I have also read up many articles to which where the boundary of blog should go. There are also many excerpts on defamation cum slandering issues. Students have gotten themselves into trouble by posing some nasty obvious remarks about their teachers. This is small compare to the racists remarks posted into the blog by some "idiots" weeks ago. Yet the boundary of blog should be stated so as to settle all the disputes of OPEN-OPINION vs Slanderous, muderous remarks that will harm the mentality and social life of a person or an entire organisation (Like races and religion).

To me, it is extremely imperative as I myself have posted my NS life, and I am under OSA. I also know the importance of OSA, and I willingly put myself into OSA. Yet, I have this feeling, the feeling of openess. There is a need for me to say it all out, and as my name has shown, DIARYISBLOG. Diary is blog. Anyway, I have set myself some limits.

These limits are however, not easily expressed or inputted in words. In fact, all these are common sense to me. I seem to know the line, the boundary, by inuition. This is why I have not gotten into big trouble from public yet. Of course, an unpleasant experience I have before about this issue which I do not want to repeat.

This may be the one of the shortest blog I am going to input. And hey, as I feel rather tired and the lack of clamour and creativity to input long verses. Nonetheless, I have some feelings and I put it all down.

As a person, I believe in the principle, I rather people betray me than I betray others. I rather people owe me than I owe others. This may sound noble, but to me I feel it is stupid. A stupid thing to human, but yet human will still do things out of boundary under dire and special circumstances. This principle of me, has been seeded into my heart.

Like love, sometimes, people do stupid things. Much as I am a pragmatic person, who always look things at a wider perspective, for the most of the people and instiled with the principle of A pound foolish from a penny wise. But I am very grateful that currently I am still not in a situation to make very difficult decision. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made. But of course the touch of humans must always be present for this is what that make us different from the animals and robots. We are not indifferent, not apathy. Sacrifices, and this means bringing pain to some, for the sake of greater good. This is sometimes not my entity to judge who is right or who is wrong.

History has shown and it may seem pragamtically true that the victor will be right and the losers will be wrong.

But for me, I will look this way. The victor is the one that the time and Gods have chosen to support it, and thereby winning the hearts of people, politically and winning the help of Gods religiously. And the loser might be right, but it is just plain unlucky that he is at the wrong time.

So much for being that "Worldly" ...

Arigo Para Slempre once more. May the power be with all of us ...

Thursday, September 22, 2005

"Rating" of the blog

Every now and then, I will read through my blog and assess, appraise and evulate what my blog is.

Indeed, I have many errors, grammar, spelling, sentence structures (An example, Fathom, I spell it as phantom). And also my blog is typically wordy with very few or virtually less graphics. I feel that since this is a diary, I will focus more on my texts using words rather than uploading pictures. Of course, a saying, "A picture is an essay of more than 1000 words". But since it is my blog, and I feel comfortable looking at it, then maybe this will be my idiosyncrasy, my style.

Many of the mistakes which are unintentional are caused by my fast typing, and less checking. And I have also explained, sometimes, in my own literature terms and meaning (which some people will find it lame), it is to show that I am still not perfect and have many things to ameliorate and change.

I have also found out the 3rd demon which the Christians viewed as the strongest demons of the realm, other than the 2 which I have stated before. I think the name is Mephisto and also means devil. Anyway, all these are just general knowledge to me, as knowledge is power. But again to show the equality and the balance, ignorance sometimes is bliss. Likewise, Complex is good to analyse all the possibilitiesm, while by Occam Razor, simple things are meant to solve problems instantly.

After going through the blog, I realise my blog is indeed like a diary, but is extremely open. This is a price for an open blog. Where people can view my experiences. Also, I am quite worried about the OSA about my NS life. But I am glad that I have not stepped over the limit but is quite dangerously close to the limit.

Criticism issues like the NKF and others, I am glad that the comments are minimal and acceptable, as I express my opinion.

I do realise one important thing and that is inspiration may be very short-lived, as a typical example might be, as I look back at my blog, sometimes, I am quite nonplussed that I can actually input something extreme (Either very good or very bad) at that point of time and which I may not do it now, at present moment. This is why like the entry on creativity and inspiration, I have stated clearly that good things are very contemporary, and that they are very likely to be disposed off your mind, if you do not cherish and use it or jot it down (for future use) at that point of time. This manner may only be reflected on me. But as always, I make it a point to change, for the better.

Anyway, I am also quite pleased that people I do not know has assessed my blog and give positive comment. Any comments, good or bad, are welcome, although constricted by law.

Finally, Arigo Para Slempre (My version of Ameigo Paras Slempre), friends for life !!! Be sure, my blog will evolve, and I believe a positive evolution, as I myself will upgrade ... :)

Monday, September 19, 2005

Sense of darkness ...

Mid-Autumn Festival is Today ... And I just realise traditional Chinese Festival seems to be quieter as the years go by. It is really saddening to see a culture becoming quieter, but hey, things changed, but of course many people refuse to allow good traditions and festivals to die, thus thereby allowing some form of celebration. Anyway, I am going to be some of this people, if I can in the future. When I am affluent some day, I really believe I can do all things that many youths and my generation think it was stupid to do.

It is a fact that numbers of Christian will increase, as time has changed and thinking too. Not only Christians but also atheists. But anyway, I hope the surviving few, like some of the youths can continue to run temples' activities, after the generation of present parents. Not only Chinese but also other races like Indians. However, base on my observation, I think Malay Muslim will not be that affected as most of them can still strictly adhere to good traditions of the past. Whereas Chinese and perhaps Indians will be the most affected ones. I am really afraid to see a future where there are no more wonderful festivals to be celebrated and that if I want to celebrate or eat mooncake, I will have to go to China or Taiwan. Certain praying and offerings seem also to be deteriorated but I believe all these can still be uphold. It is also a sad fact that if lesser people, means lesser contribution and therefore a more quiet celebration. But life still goes on. I refuse to use the word "hope" as "believe" is always a lot stronger than "hope".

It will be exceptionally delightful to see every festivals and cultures to be a noisy (Not just rock and roll) and boisterous one.

Anyway, about the recent furore over the racist remarks, I truly agree and advocate that hard measures have to be done. I am anti-discrimination and all forms of racism, and whatevertism. Some people simply do not learn to "think big", "think wide", and be an open-minded person. Variety and diversity is forever a most colourful picture in my mind, not offending the homogenous nation who had their wonderful "colours" and "culture". At least, I get to test different foods, use different abusive words (Oppss,,,) and seeing things in different light. This is what is so unique about Singapore. And hard measures must be done, as from the broken window theory, we can even allow a scratch to be done to a good clear window glass, as this might eventually splattered and smashed one day. This is also tantamount to the principle of corruption. There are always this kind of people in the world, but again, I believe they will change their mind. Always, I have this stupid idea that rather a powerful alien invasion or disease will befall us, so that we will learn to be united and not be prejudice over stupid small differences, when we share the same 30000 genes. But this is a stupid idea, and I believe people will learn things by simple ways. Believe .............

Enough about the whole big thing, the general thing and an intellectual mind. Yesterday, I went for both Mooncake(Also known as Lantern, Mid-Autumn, and Unity[For a full moon represent a unite and full circle]) celebration at Toa Payoh Shuang Lin Monastery and Yishun R.C. I have much fun. Wishing using lotus leave, letting it float in a small pond. Enjoying sights of Lantern and performances. At Yishun, I walk around the large vicinity to reminisce about the past and to see how the landscape has changed tremendously. Only 6 years, is all it takes. Things change fast, faster than what I can think of.

But anyway, I am suddenly imbued with a sense of guilty and disconsolation. I saw a former Secondary and even JC classmate and schoolmate. I have never told this to anyone and never have I admit, but I feel I deserve to give myself some explanation, therefore I am using the blog as an open declaration and confession and to seek solace openly.

This former girl I have met, is actually the first girl I have ever a crush on. I do not know how it happen, until today, in retrospect, I have tried to use Science and unbias attitude to view how I ever get a crush by incident (Crazy me !), but alas no matter how I will always feel guilty of my nonchalant and "tao"(Ignorant and maybe arrogant) attitude.

This girl I met in a bus when I was a carefree Sec1 kid at Yishun, at my Primary School. The first sight I saw her and I know she is familiar, but that was just few weeks after the opening of the sec 1 school lessons.

Then, afterthat, at school, when I saw her, I knew that I have a crush on her. At that time, even though love hormones start pouring out into my blood, I am still ignorant and oblivious of the reality of relationship. And also I am devoid of courage, as this is a stupid point which I think I take the worng step. (After JC is the beginning of good differentiation point for me) Maybe it is my action, I am too obvious. I will always tried to take the same bus with her. I will always steal a glance at her. Until my friends start to poke fun at me. Of course my childlish mind try to fight back, and also to protect her, I will reject all claims of me "liking" her. Of course, I believe at that time she was disgusted but if I am more Man at that time, things will have been very different.

Sec 1 is a smooth sailing year for me, for it seems I can achieve the highest grade in the class, getting medals and cup in sports and competition as if they are all easy. I am also acknowledged as an important member of my CCA. But of course I got a little down (Maybe of my freckles and pimples as love hormones may mean unbalance hormones).

When I heard that she had a "boyfriend" who is senior to me and also my friend, I knew that this relationship will not last long, yet I feel sad. Then this feeling disappear as I hynotise myself everyday. Then, Sec 2 came, when everything seem to go wrong. But I get the feeling back again, maybe due to the fact that I can no longer suppress the accumulation of hormones. But again, I tried to act cool, and in some way, become a jerk, and "tao", and this cause me dearly. As people view me as a very introvert and shy person who always feel nervous talking to girls. This is of course very unhealthy. (though now I still have that stupid characteristics, but under the mind of meditation, I summon my strong sub-conciousness to detour the silly shyness)

Then at Sec 3 and 4, I totally "tao" her. In fact JC1 and 2, there are occasion where I am really close to her, but again I "tao". And I have found an explanation of all these is the fact that I choose to ignore and run away from feelings. This can be catastrophic, but lucky for me, it is small but on my personal touch, I am hurt seriously over the "running". In fact a real man should not run away but must face all bravely. A real man must in fact rise to the occasion. I am really guilty of this "tao", until I think she is absolutely disgusted with me. And I just realise I met her as I walked past her, and suddenly stopped in my mid-way as I thought I have just walked past a person I knew. I turned back and watched her continue her steps to the interchange. She was absolutely impervious by all the affairs. I thought of calling her, but base on reflections, I think it is wise not to. Who am I to her, a friend? After all the stupid things I have ever done. "tao" has indeed caused me dearly, this is why I am putting all action to stop this "evil". As I watched her back becoming smaller and eventually disappeared, many thoughts filled me mind. In fact, I think I am not fit to be her friend. Maybe she saw me or maybe she did not, but it was my fault that caused all the uncomfortable and uneasy fate.

If only I can savage the situation....

But anyway, what I can do for my future, is to prevent all these from happening. I have hurt many people over my disgusting and unforgivable actions. For now, I can only feel this guilt, as it totally assauge me, filling me with helplessness.

This will be truly a reminder, that Thou shall never be "TAO" by definition of haughty, ignorant of people especially those close to me and whom I know and also arrogant and proud (A negative meaning) .

I have classified 3 types of people I absolutely loath and disdian.

1.) Hypocrites
2.) Backstabber and an exposer that has promised to keep secrets but reveal indiscriminately without fulfilling a sincere promises.
3.) A very "tao", haughty, arrogant personnel who totally put everything under his/her feet.

These are worst than all creatures including thieves. Even some theives have backbone.

Sense of darkness ...

But I am seeing light now. As new light dawn on me ... A new light shimmering in my mind, guiding me. My sub-consciousness and myself, It is all in my mind......