Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Work started ...

Finally comes the launch. We are covered on news. The media is particularly interested in us. This may be due to the increasing threat of the terrorism, and that terrorism prefer to hit soft targets like the MRT. Which can also cause mass casualties, due to the large volume of people everyday to and fro. We are set up to "harden" soft spots. To make Singapore safe and to instil confidence in public.

And hell of it man, some of the lunatics try to test us. I think. Trying to play a fool and create hoaxes. I hope that all these people should be apprehended as soon as possible and give them a severe punishment for causing unnecessary panic and worry and stress to the people, me and my fellow colleague.


So far, very tiring, with the shifts of "many days work, and light rest" (I do not want to reveal the exact scheme and shifts). A trial phase this is, but trying out different shifts to see which one better. Anyway, ganna discriminated always.

We cannot run away from this stupid evil. Whatever things, people think it is different and cannot accept, but if the things become reality, the only alternative for bullish and immature beings will do is to discriminate for their own satisfactory. This action to me of course is bull-shit. Ganna discriminated by people still never mind. Mind you, but for the same division and especially the heads, this is absolutely upset. Our unit will just have to prove to others. One day if we save their girlfriends, their family and friends, maybe they will learn to appreciate us more. Though we might not be as fit, definitely the rules of engagement, we are likewise more experience and better than them. I do not want to spell out those people anymore.

Unknowingly to them, by deterring, we have already caused many lives to be saved. Hai~~ But human nature, people like to see results. The unknown factor of results is actually very important in security if not in Science.

Anyway, finding time to input my thought. How only 8 months of NS has changed our entire lives. From frankness in blog, I have to use this and that to express my feelings. My nightmare has indeed become deja-vu.

The nightmare of the collapse of a dream before it has even started. Perhaps if a team has his own vision and dreams by their own and too far, it is near to impossible to work out the same idea. But I will always hope, even if 10 years later we can work together.

A lot of things look very stupid to me, such as whatever I want to do or hope just fail even before started. Like the wooing, the setting, the whatever, well, seem to shatter before it can fall. This means fate is more cruel to me though. I prefer to fail the exams as long as I have the chance to take the exams. But it seems that fate do not want me to take the exams at all, for He/She/It is scared that giving me a failure is akin to the most nasty feelings.

Maybe on the good faith of fate, it has helped me. It has tried to avoid making me hurt. But I just realised I stumble upon the ultra-dimensional feeling, the feeling of helplessness. This is worst than the disappointment you can get. But too bad, I can never blame fate, for choices come with fate. My characters and my action count too. Action, Behaviour and Consequences.(ABC)

But, I have thought before, how do I know the hotness of chilli padi, if I do not try it out at all. Even if I am "hurted" by the sting of burns and hotness, at least I know what is the meaning of hot in chilli-terms. An analogy.

Anyway, results in the end are still important. As long as people are happy, and nobody is seriously hurt, that all ends. That all matter.

I have a saying to give to my friend, a friend, once he read this he will know. IF YOU DO NOT CHANGE YOU DIE LIKE A DINOSAUR. BUT IF YOU CHANGE TOO MUCH YOU WILL BECOME A RADICLE SO DANGEROUSLY UNSTABLE AND CAUSING HARM TO OTHER STABLES AND YOURSELF.

Though I read a lot, experience many, see plenty, not all in the world but just enough, I always abide by the best prinicples and rulings, including my visions and dream of my own. I always compare. My decision may somehow change and alter. But I will definitely not make a drastic 180 degrees turn. This may be imperative sometimes, but for most positive issues, it comes by a case by case basis. Do not watch a movie, then change totally about views. We can question, we can compare, but in the end, most of the time, I think that the dreams and visions of the originals still count. The dreams and visions will eventually determine the ABC, we are going to take.

Now as I input I cannot be blunt, a price to be paid if I do not want to offend. But still feelings must be spelled out, or it will become a disease and burden. My English is lousy but not that lousy, interpretations of others might be different, and my meanings may be distorted. But I have put an effort to check and correct. So at least ....

Just an afterthought, but hey, after just 8 months, I think that I am losing it. I mean I am not trunign crazy but a lot of the academic stuff from my primary school to JC, I am beginning to forget. I think I am going to revise them again. For those who think I am a nerd, whatever. I am an intellectual, and that may differ from the path all of you choose. You all may abhor the people consistency of revising and maintaining of knowledge, but all of you can never interfere or put unkind or sacarstic remarks like nerds or freaks. In fact I am proud to declare that it is due to my perseverance that I work hard and smart to become today. Today might not be that great to me as compare to scholars or other people that "look" more successful to me and who might "look" like they work lesser. But whatever. Their loads of work may be truth or people's judgemental, but their results are real. This is why I will continue to congratulate them and still, I will pat on my own shoulder and say I have persisted and reach near to the point of my targets.

If I only work smart and not hard, I will never soar up high. And I will always be low and not high enough. For Hard and Smart are twin engines of growth. Only when they come hand-in-hand, can I via aeroplanes soar up the sky, while reaching for the sky, and be Above All.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

So long ....

2 weeks fly by, and I have gone through a lot of enriching courses. The details however are under OSA, but I find myself learning a lot of things and trying many stuffs outsiders or the public will never have the chance to try.

I get to walk the tunnels of SMRT and SBST. Get to see the MRT in a different light. The pilot cocksit and so on. Get to be a pioneer, get to be a SOC member though some discrimination might occur. Get to learn the secrets of IED, many confidential intelligence none other than from ISD. Of course, the lessons of these I cannot revealed.

To many SOC people, they are exceptionally fit and they are really proud of it, and many people including the PMU (Or Police MRT unit) marvel at their fitness and the discipline. PMU is a little bit different by nature because we work by shifts, we are the first "specialist" unit to be engaged with the public. We do not carry heavy guns like MP5 or HK SMG(Sub-machine gun). And the worst difference is our pt which is incomparable to the troopers and the other units of SOC.
This is why somehow our unit is discriminated much to the dismay of my CO. CO has actually notified the Head Ops, and tell us that this type of situation can be expected as there are people who do not understand new concepts or the unknown factor. Likewise, this type of thoughts can be portrayed in the World Discrimination. People are simply too fearful and discriminate. Like the fictionous yet possible X-men, people simply refer to them as freaks. Though our unit are not freaks, but somehow the concept of discrimination is very telling. Our berets are also different from the others, but like always, we will say, WHAT TO DO?

The problem of the SOC camp is that it is super far away from my house and for the next 1.5 years, I have to travel this far to and fro everyday. I do not know how can I make it, but I have to. Also, I travel in the very early morning and come home late in this 3 weeks of courses. And for the operational time, especially the morning shift, I do not know whether I can reach the base in time. I do not want to be late and be entitled the AWOL. But what to do? Just keep swimming...

I have realised many things and one of them is very telling today. For I have taken my New Scientist Magazine to read. Well, people simply said that this is a very typical A-level student sacarstically. And worst still, people give snide comments like I am a nerd. I am a little bit confused, for a good virtue like hardworking may seem erroneous in the eye of the law enforcers, and much ado, the NS men. I understand that there is always a time for everything, and certain situations might not work to certain positive favours. Nonetheless, I am extremely disappointed with these comments. Sacarsm might not be the straw to be used. Luckily I am a Man, well, this is why I cannot swallow all the insults in the world. But for a young girl, this is very hurting.

But I still continue my way, as long as it does not hurt others. Always I disapprove many other people's action and their actions are really negative. But fearing for my status and other people's dislikenment, I will restrain myself. And simply pray for an authortarian figure to come out and punish us altogether(Because many a times we are together and united in a unit), so that we will not be a recidivist. And anyway, I do not backstab or gossip or purposefully tell the authortarian figures. Simply I keep praying the big figure will find out the truth everyday. And from last time until now, my prayers have always been true.

I do not know whether what I do are correct or not, but I do understand the concept of "obit", or doing the right thing at the right place at the right time. I do balance out the consequences and what other people's comments. As Chinese has a saying, "Ren Yan Ke Wei". (People's comments are fearful). Anyway, I believe as long as I follow my Balance principle, and all will be fine.

Anyway, the Lunar Ghost festival has started. Haha, but I am sadden to see the tradition has somehow deteriorated. Maybe the younger generation is the fault, and maybe time really has changed. But I believed it is my fate that I am willing to follow the tradition and pass it on, as long as they will never become obsolete. Faith in most of the time are not obsolete ot become the latter even for many many years. Heard that this is the time when tracom has more "problems" than usual. Hahah... Lucky for me, but never to talk nonsense in the public. Especially now ...

P.S: Btw, Bing Dun has joined me for the PMU. So "lucky", keep meeting people from the same background(but may not have same ideological) in any unit I am stucked with. Last time Yong Chuen, now BD. Haha... Anyway, a coincidence too, keep meeting people with same surname, Peh. I am really "lucky" man ...