Sunday, February 13, 2005

Finally ... The Chinese New Year Resolution

Hahaha ... So long have not touch the blog. This might be the last week of "slacking" of my 3 months before I POP. Cos there will be no more public holiday until the Good Friday. That week is really good as I can have 3 days of holiday. Anyway, Chinese New Year comes finally, the year of rooster.

Realise I must have really a flaw before I can change and become better. I come to a sudden realisation that this type of change is too late and always imbue me with a keen sense of poignant mood. Thus, I have devised a new kind of philosophy for myself to be followed. it seems bloody simple yet I do not grasp its concept until now. Like I say before, I do not know why do humans like me, especially the mudane one, will have to meet with tragedy or force so that they can change. Perhaps it is innate human nature, but I do not care. To gain enlightenment, the first thing I must do is to become better. Though the judgement of betterment can be entirely controversial, what matters most is I feel good and people feel good about me, for my thoughts and deed. I will really have to reach the standard of my Secondary school motto, "Be mighty in thoughts and deed". Frankly this is my favourite motto, from my least favourite school, Mayflower Sec, but perhaps, it is my clouded and obstinate behaviour that gives me this type of presposterous judgement. In fact I have led a good life, fortunate though I will definitely meet with failure here and there. But it is the failure that makes me strong, but hey my new philosophy, "Do not wait for the change to occur, let the change waits on you ..." :)

Anyway, the year of rooster comes ... And like any other Chinese, I will sincerely wish all my friends a good and Happy New Year even to those non-Chinese friends. I will face many challenges. Hope everyone can be happy, gratified in everythings they do. This is a simple yet absolute wishes I can give to anyone, from my friends to acquaintances, even to enemies (which I hope there is none) ....

The reason I have this new philosophy, "DO NOT WAIT FOR CHANGES TO OCCUR, LET THE CHANGE WAITS ON YOU", is because of the fact that I have failed miserably in my tests in Tracom. I fail my shootings because I did not do my best. I have to always fail and make excuses and become better. Why cannot I do well in the 1st place when I have already mental preparation. Even my IPPt, the least expected I can fail is shuttle run, yet I fail. I have sincerely speaking, never fail shuttle run in my life. From primary to J.C. But I fail 2 times. Because I do not what happen to me. I really have to wake up to my ideas (Like those F.I always scold me and use words like Manko[Bowl-headed]) . If I really want to gain enlightenment and become better or simply the best, I will have to change before failure. Though it is wise to keep things balance and checked like failure and success is a common thing to a soldier, or a good beginning is half-way towards being successful, in the end, success will not come to one who do not entirely push himself. I do not try to fail but fail to try. Another thing I solely lack is courage. Courage is essential. I may feel nervous when doing great things or even simple tasks, but hey a good person never bow down to stress. Even when many people or examiner are looking at you. My command of language can improve, but courage and natural flair of charisma is not found in everyone. Hwever this type of charisma may not be in my possession, however, I must have the basic charisma. This can be activated if I want it to occur. In terms of relationships, inclusive of personal, romance and social, I feel that I have failed (though not totally but 70/100 is still a fail if you know what I mean).

Hai~~. Only when you really want to drive a ship, do the ship can go straight when it reaches the harbour. Gods only help those people who really help themselves. Yapping and yapping, I really hope after this blog, I will really become a wise man. Hope ...

Valentine coming though it will be on Monday and I will be in Tracom. I may not have gf, but that does not stop me from "celebrating". Decides to bring love letter into Tracom, sing love songs and eat the love letters. Haha. Funny way but hey this is to "punish" myself for being too introvert and "not knowing how to be a Man, a gentleman". Not going to be like that again.

And come to serious thing, about the ambitious business plan. There have been many changes. I swear I am going to do a better job. To prove my worth. Doing business is scrupulous, and must truly have a good business brain and even human relations. Though luck is important also. About the courses we want. I swear I will think of guidelines to ensure that we have a good business plan and procedure for our meetings. Only then can our business carry on smoothly. Meanwhile going to enlighten myself. ....

Arigo Para Slempre. A signal that I am going to dream land. Hahah. Good nite. This few days have been especially exhaustive. Gamblinf for fun, with relatives. Gambling to pass time and also to "communicate" with relatives. Feel better now though I am really scared of getting another relapse of phlegm and flu. As usual, will drink more water. I am not writing essay but merely flow in my writings while inputting this blog. So it may be a little messy. Haha. No real order. Gd luck to me for the tests I am going to have. The Drill tests coming up and even the law tests. And the defensive tactics. To myself: Remember the new philosophy .... Nitez off again.

P.S: Got many hauntings and stories at tracom especially from my coy, Delta and especially echo. Perhaps in next blog, I will consolidate those versions. Creepy though ...

No comments: