It has been a long long time since I have blogged. I have been extremely lazy, or simply, I do not have the inspiration and feelings to write or type.
Like many of my former blog entries, this has no format, no pieces but just a randomness.
I am in University now. NTU, Biomedical and Traditional Chinese Medicine. Going to Second year.
Having gone back to NS police for 2 times, and the 3rd time coming within 2 weeks.
My 1st year examinations are over, with the confidence that I should fare a lot better than my former semester.
I have accustomed myself to being a busy person, wanting to be as productive as possible.
I have always wanted to find my true destiny, but I am not sure.
It seems I have matured, got wiser but still lost and confused at the same time.
Such is the perplexity of humans ...
I can't stand having myself being to free, lest of preesure from family and public.
However, I would always have found something that I can do or think and ponder.
I am officially an adult now, still single, because I have not found the "Right" one. Even with the "target" I have, I realise that it is not the right time now. I cannot fall into the same pitshole which I encounter in the past.
To say that I am very experience, it is an overstatement. However, I definitely have the discretion and the wisdom to make my decision. I may not be the best, but I am good enough.
I found myself enjoying teaching, enjoying imparting the knowledge, sharing of the knowledge, the knowledge to gain more knowledge, with technicality.
I am not so philosophical, but much more philosophy.
My life seems to be a curve, that is very stable, not too much highs or too much lows. I have to be careful what I wished for.
I have learnt to classify actions and thoughts into LOGICAL vs EMOTIONAL.
Example, when I deal with money or whatsoever, it must be LOGICAL.
I will write my lessons for the past 2 years in the blog too.
I feared for some of the contents. Some of the things should be private, as pen is mightier than the sword. This happens to be a public blog. I have to be careful though. I have inevitably offend an awful lot of people, for this I apologise solemnly. A mistake would never happen with me, for I have sworned.
Finally, I get a phrase correct, "Hells hath no fury like a woman scorned!"
Now, I am going to Hong Kong, to enjoy and to settle some unfinished business.
Ghosts of past seems to haunt you.
I do not want to make a venture obvious, we have failed half psychologically, though not technically.
I have sworned to finish a project from now on, never to quit with flying colours. Or else, I would never be that successful.
People have asked me why I never have a girlfriend. This is due to the fact that I feel that I have many flaws, both internal and explicitly, external. I am not ready with this flaws and I do not want to affect or harm the others.
It is a retribution in progress, for what I did when young. To be religious, from my past lives if possible.
I have been hurt by conciousness, even though logically I CANNOT feel that way. The external factor that has caused my charactersitics, to withhold, to hold back. I feel sick of the self-abasement, because that is the most pitiful thing on Earth. Discrimination, despite, struggle?
I have tried to seek a cure but to no avail, or have I, respectively with discipline?
Playing mind games and riddles, they are not my style, but why am I still doing?
I have gained plenty but lose a lot at the same time. To be self-abased, I might be the random party that is just lucky, and having blessings. Sometimes, you have to be a bad guy with limits to accomplish the good tidings.
Going to age 22 ... What is my true destiny? What will my destiny holds for me? What talents do I have? What am I at best? What am I to do? What would be my exploits and deeds? Extraordinary or just ordinary? Contributing to the society, economy, the world? These are the questions which I have purposefully let off when I was younger.
Going to age 22 ... and the real world ...
